Empty House Syndrome

Baba is in Brooklyn (I think) and Lizzie is on the road to points east, especially to rejoin Baba and perform the Cabaret. Darhma Dog is riding with her; both are watching out for Officer Hagerty and hiking and driving. Me, I'm alone in this huge house for the first time.

I still feel like I'm getting used to the place - still finding myself here. And making that happen means developing my daily routines - writing, meditating, yoga, cleaning up, doing laundry, fixing meals, finding places for my stuff, much of which is still scattered on the floor of my room. But every day I feel more at home, more a part of the place and the movement behind the place (which I'm also still discovering and I think partly defining along with Lizzie and Baba and the Garderners).

But today is Sunday and I was up late last night playing a gig with the Hilary Scott Band at the Martini Bar, and I'm feeling mostly lazy. And it's Earth Day, so it's as if (in my imagination) a huge part of Columbia has turned out to celebrate my birthday today, and I have yet to wander down to the party, where, quite appropriately and with the exception of a few friends, I will be completely ignored. A fun little zen fantasy, then.

All I've done today that's useful is work on setting up my workstation and wash sheets from last week. Tomorrow the real fun begins, including morning writing, vacuuming the house, finish stripping beds and doing laundry, putting things away, and working on the Tumbleweed Cabaret web site. And except for some of the grunt work, it's all fun stuff. I still start my days here with a smile and whispered gratitude given to all four corners of the compass. Our new lives and emergent realities best begin with moments of thankfulness and with smiles, preferably with laughter. The curious effect of all of this for me is that I feel so much more relaxed around other people - more than I have in years. I feel so much more real.

All quite amazing. Thank you Lizzie. Thank you Baba. Thank you Holy Road House. Thank you Alisa and James and Alysia and Ron and Brandon and Mike and Bean and all the Holy Road Gardeners and Denise and Joni and Alicia and the ghosts around me. Life has gotten so very much more interesting.