Out Of My Mind

A fantasy:

   ”Hello Doc?" On the telephone.
   "Yes, Dr. Finster here."
   "Oh, okay. Say doc, I want you to do something for me. Do you think you would?"
   "Well, give it a try. What do you want me to do?"
   "I want you to declare me mindless."
   "What?"
   "I don't have a mind, doc. I want you to declare me mindless. Got it?"
   "I can't."
   "Why not?"
   "Wait a minute. Is this a joke?"
   "Not unless it's on me. Yesterday I had a mind. Today I don't. I've lost it. It's gone. Just, poof! "
   "Are you trying to tell me you're insane?"
   "Sorry doc, I really don't know what 'insane' means. I know that I don't mind at all that my mind has disappeared. Quite a burden lifted, if you ask me. But it would really help me out if you would go ahead and fill out a paper declaring me mindless. I can probably draw some sort of social security benefit or something. After all, it won't do any good to go to my job now, will it."
   The doctor had an idea. "Why don't you come down to my office and I'll examine you and if it looks to me like your mind is gone, I'll sign you into the state hospital." That'll do the trick, he thought to himself.
   "Can't you take my word for it? Who should know better than I?”
   "If you're mindless you're not going to know anything, are you."
   "Oh, you've got that all wrong, doc. See, I'm not my mind. I'm me."
   But that doesn't convince the doctor and he hangs up. What can I say? There's nothing mindless about modern medicine, is there.